I am head-over-heels deeply in love with my personal current boyfriend. We reside together, share our everyday life, and intend on remaining collectively so long as humanly possible. However, even though i do want to spend the rest of my entire life with him,
I never need married
.

1. 
   I can not stay positive my personal thoughts won’t change.
   
   Six years ago, I thought I happened to be obsessed about the individual I became gonna spend remainder of living with. The guy turned out to be a
   raging alcoholic
   and mentally abusive. I like my personal current partner and then he’s an absolutely different person than my personal ex, but according to my personal earlier encounters, it seems impractical to believe that my feelings cannot change even though i am head-over-heels crazy nowadays. Folks grow and alter, life happens, and often the person you believed you realized turns out to be some body totally different. How to remember my thoughts won’t change as we get married?
2. 
   I do want to preserve some degree of autonomy.
   
   I will be to start with personal person, and my companion understands and likes this about myself. Having a certain level of independency is important to me, and legitimately binding myself personally to a different person feels extremely restrictive for me. And even though i wish to be with my lover permanently, I want to feel like i’d have the
   freedom to depart
   easily had a need to. As someone who’s experienced abusive connections prior to, this is so that crucial that you me personally.
3. 
   I don’t wish to have young ones, thus I cannot truly understand point.
   
   When you have kids, engaged and getting married is reasonable for the reason that most of the obstacles that single parents can deal with. Plus, it is even more economical to express earnings when you have youngsters to improve. I know for a fact that Really don’t want kids, so marriage feels unneeded.
4. 
   Relationship isn’t really the only method to affirm a lifelong commitment.
   
   I realize that individuals see relationship as a remarkably passionate and spiritual option to affirm your lifelong commitment to one another, and I also admire and admire that. Everyone loves my spouse to the moon and back and would like to spend rest of living with him, but there are numerous alternative methods to help make this dedication and affirm our very own really love that do not entail legally binding our selves together.
5. 
   Divorce appears awful.
   
   I’m a child of divorced parents, You will find pals who will be separated, and I also’ve observed adequate rom-coms over the years to find out that separation and divorce is actually awful. Splitting possessions, battling over who receives the flat-screen, spending thousands of dollars on solicitors simply to break down a marriage contract… no thanks a lot. It might be so much easier when we carried on to reside our own independent lives and be in control of our personal possessions while revealing a beautiful really love and commitment on our own terms and conditions.
6. 
   The institution of wedding feels oppressive if you ask me.
   
   I know I’m not the most important one to state this, however the establishment of wedding feels oppressive to me as a woman. I not ever been enthusiastic about “belonging” to anybody else, a lot less placing that possession written down, which makes it lawfully joining, and honoring everything in a virginal white dress. Barf.
7. 
   I have seen a lot of marriages fail.
   
   It’s hard to feel certain that a wedding would not end up in breakup when I’ve observed a lot of marriages do not succeed throughout the years. In addition, a lot of the marriages I’ve seen have failed as a result of the
   stresses of relationship
   . Expectations and dynamics modification when you become legally bound to each other, and this may cause countless pain and stress. How to feel good about relationship while I’ve observed it damage countless connections?
8. 
   If this really does end, it’ll be a lot easier when we aren’t married.
   
   My Venus is within Leo so I’m extremely prideful about relationships closing and when they end, I need to chop all ties in purchase to maneuver in a healthy and balanced method. Whenever we had been married, that ending would be such longer plus drawn-out and advanced than whenever we were not. I am very scared of placing my personal vulnerable cardiovascular system during that process.
9. 
   We can determine all of our connection on our personal terms and conditions.
   
   Wedding is only one good way to establish a relationship, there’s no guideline saying that we must be married to become in a wholesome, pleased, long-term commitment. My spouse and I would you like to develop our personal techniques to create meaning inside our connection and invest in one another.